Windmill Dragons

Yes, man? Nah, bro.

I think it’s amazing that for the second time that I’m going to write an essay about a self-revelation I am going to start off by talking about a Jim Carrey movie.

Or maybe I should just say it’s “funny”. The movie Yes Man kinda relied on the audience buying into the theory that the more you say “Yes!” to something the more opportunities you take and therefore become a happier and better person.

I said “No.” to an opportunity today because I think it will lead to more opportunities and hopefully make me a better and happier person. But let it be known I wouldn’t say “No.” to Zooey Deschanel.

I received a job offer to go work for a small IT firm that contracts out to bigger companies (but not big enough to have their own IT firm). When I first started interviewing for the position I really thought I was going to take the position. I thought I was going to leave retail and get a salary bump. That’s the dream, right?

I was given an initial offer that I did think was too low. It wasn’t so much more to cover how much more I would be relying on my car. My car is an 09 that already has 40k miles. (And whoever keyed it can go play on a freeway.).

Something else didn’t feel right though. I wasn’t sure what until today.
I often feel before I recognize what I’m feeling. This comes in handy as a form of intuition in times like this and is a handicap when I get all bipolar and start to feel bad before my brain can figure out any reasons why. But it usually does.

I figured out what was wrong. I didn’t know what I wanted. I know some of the requirements now.
1. my next job will not just be to get out of retail
2. I would like to be there for at least five years and if that doesn’t happen it was my choice
3. I don’t know that I want it to be IT support
4. I want weekends and holidays off
5. I want over 43k
6. I want to make … something …

I don’t know what exactly yet. I’m trying to meet up with some of my friends to talk about their business endeavors. They are taking the steps to making their dreams come true.
7. I’d like to help.